The Bra Adventure

One of my favorite quotes is on my bathroom wall right in front of the toilet. (It’s a great place to put powerful quotes!) It includes a profound line: “If we listen and hear what is being offered, anything in life can be our guide.” I want to share with you how a bra helped me to become a more insightful, compassionate human being. A bra you say? Yes! And the story goes like this.

Three years ago, I discovered the joy of a well-made bra and it was now time for a new one. I drove to the store and explained what I wanted, but they didn’t have it in my size. They said they would be happy to mail it to me and assured me it would come in a week.

Two weeks later it arrived and it was the wrong size! Off to the store I go. Now, this was the day after the election and I had all sorts feeling moving through me. When I stepped up to the counter, I was caught in my reactive self. I wasn’t mean, but I let her know of my frustration. She was adamant that I had to be measured again, and so back to the dressing rooms we go.

She was meeting my reactive self with her reactive self. After trying on the third bra she had brought me, all of which were a size smaller than what I had been wearing and all of which were way too tight, I finally acknowledged that I was in reactive mode. I understood that I was caught in my feelings around the election and was showering them on the world. Rather than judging this, my heart opened to how tight I was.

When I finally had the right size bra and went out to the counter to purchase it, I met her with kindness, but she was having none of it. So, I silently apologized for my reactions and left the store. When I got home and went to unpack the bra, they had forgotten to put my old bra in the bag. Now that I was completely out of my reactive self, I called and our connection was totally different. She began by apologizing, (they had put the bra in somebody else’s bag!) and I responded with a spacious heart. We ended up laughing about the whole experience.

How was I able to so cleanly unhook from the storyteller in my head that was in reaction mode? When you have discovered how to see and unhook from your addiction to struggle, it becomes safe for your heart to open again. The contrast between living from your reactive self and living from your aware heart is huge. When you see this, you are like a moth to flame. Your passion becomes meeting life with kindness.

Kindness is the natural space of an open heart. Your heart has a sense of oneness with everything. Kindness remembers what we have in common and it is not interested in creating barriers; it is interested in connection. The simple beauty of meeting life from your heart is what we all long for. Yes, your mind loves to attack and defend. It loves to be right and make other people wrong but your heart knows that what you most deeply long for is true connection and that comes from your heart.

So, the invitation is to recognize that life is inviting you out of your reactive mind and into your responsive heart. And whatever is showing up in your life, whether it is a difficult boss, a challenging neighbor, a reactive teenager or the purchase of a bra, when you can lead with your heart, magic will happen.