Re-Connecting With Your Life

As human beings, our core compulsion is to struggle. We struggle with everything from the length of a stoplight to life-and-death issues. This brings forth a pervasive sense of unease that is always in the background of our lives and sometimes moves to the foreground, a sense that things should be different than what they are. In our unease, we go back and forth between two extremes: The Victor (powering over) and The Victim (overpowered). 

The Victor tries to control Life – people, circumstances, emotions, our bodies, or our minds. It comes from the belief that “I have to do it all and do it right.” The Victim believes that challenges are here because you have done something wrong and it doesn’t know how to make it right. Both are reactions against rather than responses to the experiences in your life. Both roles are based on fear and the belief that the entire responsibility for the unfolding of your life is yours alone.

I invite you to step back and examine how this pendulum of struggle shows up in your own life. The truth is that making control the primary way you lead your life cuts you off from the very thing you long for – the peace, joy, and clarity of being present for your life.  Part of you may think that loosening your grip on control and opening to your life again amounts to just sitting down on the side of the road and letting things happen, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Instead, it frees you to passionately and compassionately engage with your life as it is happening right here, right now. It is not about trying to create a perfect reality. It is about learning the art of showing up for reality, trusting that it is unfolding perfectly! 

As you learn how to show up for your life, you discover two very important things. The first is that your life is for you. Your challenges are not accidents or mistakes. They are tailor-made to reawaken you to the fullness of your life. This allows you to move beyond the victim role. The second is that there is a center of strength and wisdom within you that knows how to live the life you have been given. As you move from the need to control your life to actually connecting with it, you learn how to truly dance with Life. This is when you look and unhook from your struggling mind enough to begin to open to the ease and joy that is always here, right outside of the bubble of struggle in your mind. 

Image of Painting by Masha Keating www.mashakeating.com