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When One Door Closes, Another Will Open

mikki sun washed surfTwo friends of mine recently lost their jobs and a lot of fear is coming up for both of them.  One was laid off after working for a large retail company for over ten years. The other decided to quit her job when the company took away the flexibility she had enjoyed for many years, including working from home. 

When something uncomfortable or painful happens, like being let go from or leaving a job, it is so easy to slip into the victim mode, and when you are in this mode, you are unconscious and lost in the separate self.  It is important to understand that when you are vulnerable (and you are always vulnerable when you go through major life transitions), your judger will come up with all kinds of stories, like “If I had only done it right this wouldn’t have happened,” or “I am a failure.”   You can choose to buy into these stories or you can step back and see them for what they really are – just stories that are not true. 

For my friend who lost her job involuntarily, she initially blamed the company for taking away her retirement, health insurance, and all of the other perks she worked so hard to have.  I told her that her judger is making a list to show her that she is the victim.   As she moves out of the victim mode, she is beginning to watch the judger rather than buying into its stories.  Reflecting back on her job, she realizes that she was not happy nor was she fulfilled.  She told me something she remembered the other day that she had forgotten since she has been so caught in fear, “Mary, my boss shared something really profound as he was walking me out the door.  He told me to remember that the service I gave the company for many years is what defines me, not the loss of my job.  I was so scared and devastated about losing my job that I totally forgot he said this to me.”   My friend is beginning to have a completely different relationship with fear.  Life is taking her out of the illusion of safety in her old job and she is discovering the safety of being with what is

Stephen Levine, author and spiritual teacher, taught me that when you take a step down the path of life, you move two feet ahead, and when you fall on your face, you move six feet ahead (Stephen is six feet tall).  In other words, it is an absolute requirement that you fall flat on your face at times in life.   When you really look at it, loss of a job means you have the opportunity to start something that is entirely new, but your storyteller tries to convince you otherwise.  Seize the opportunity to begin anew when you experience a loss of something in your life.  It is really true that when one door closes, another will open. 

The next time you feel vulnerable because of a loss in your life, especially a job loss, try to step back and watch the stories that your judger makes up.  Tell yourself, “I am exactly where I need to be.”  How does this make you feel?   

Image – Sun Washed Surf by Artist Mikki Senkarik  www.Senkarik.com  www.MikkiSenkarik.WordPress.com