Set a Different Kind of Resolution for the New Year
It’s that time of year when many people make resolutions for the New Year. Why do we make resolutions? Because we have the idea that we are not okay as we are and we have to be different. Resolutions are typically about getting rid of something and getting to or becoming something else, like “I am going to lose 50 pounds” or “I am going to stop drinking so much alcohol” or “I am going to spend less money”. We think we need to fix, change or rearrange something about ourselves or our lives. And, the mind will tell us that certain things that happened in 2014 were bad or wrong and need to be different in 2015. This is just the conditioning we took on when we were young and it causes endless suffering.
I invite you to think about setting a different kind of resolution. I like to call it an intention rather than a resolution. First, hold the possibility that life knew exactly what it was doing in 2014 and that whatever happened was exactly what needed to happen. Then, consider the possibility of holding the space for a new year, not in a place of war or struggle or resistance, but in a place of showing up for what life is offering, no matter what it is. Then set your intention. Make it an inclusive kind of intention for the year, not an intention to try to get rid of something or to be something else, but to really and truly include. And if you can’t think of an intention, just be with the question, “What is a healthy intention for me in 2015?”
My intention for 2015 is “All is welcome here.” Just feel the spaciousness this intention brings up when you say it. I use this intention like a mantra, whenever I have challenges come up in my life, and I guarantee you there will be challenges. And when this happens, I will become curious about what life is offering, no matter what it is, rather than being victim to it. This intention allows for my primary “go-to place” to be one of curiosity and compassion.
“All is welcome here” is a wonderful intention when we are caught in the fear-based mind, because it reminds us to let go of the resistance that creates our suffering. This intention befriends fear rather than making it the enemy, and it is one of the most valuable things a human being can do on our journey back to life. Pema Chödrön, Buddhist nun and author, tells us to keep company with the fear, which is another way of befriending our fear. When we are lost in the mind that says “I don’t like this” or “I am wrong” or “I am not enough,” we can invite the fear in by saying “oh, this is just fear.” We can say hello to the fear and tell it, “You are welcome here.” Sometimes the mind will scream, “No, you’re not” and then we can say to the resistant mind, “You are welcome here too.” What would it be like if it was okay that the fear was here? Fear is a doorway into a trust-filled place that is difficult to imagine when we are caught in struggle. How does that door open? By having a moment here and a moment there when we say, “Oh, fear, you’re here again.”
As you contemplate this year ahead, allow life to open you again. This is the power of setting an intention. Trust that life knows what it is doing. You can hold the space and allow life to bring you exactly what you need for your healing and fulfillment!
What intention comes to mind as you are settling into 2015? Can you think of a challenge in your life that you can use your intention to bring more spaciousness to the situation?
Image – Detail of Pink Anemone, Blown Glass by Nancy Callan. www.nancycallanglass.com